Skip navigation! Story from Sex. Sex between two women is a beautiful thing. Unfortunately, there's a lot of misinformation out there. So when two people with vulvas are having sex, I think a lot of folks don't understand how that works since there's no penis.
Stay safe. Never be afraid to say you've changed your mind about something — and always listen carefully to what they say, too. Abortion and same-sex marriage legalised in NI. The good news is that although tips and tricks are handy, sex is still largely intuitive whatever genders or bodies it's between. Use your intuition I know you're thinking,"How on earth will Lesbions in bed know what to do? Say oh 11 by 17 maybe? Feminism portal.
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D o lesbians have better sex than heterosexual women?
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Lesbian bed death is the concept that lesbian couples in committed relationships have less sex than any other type of couple the longer the relationship lasts, and generally experience less sexual intimacy as a consequence. The concept is based on research by social psychologist Philip Blumstein and sociologist Pepper Schwartz , published in American Couples: Money, Work, Sex , which found that lesbian couples reported lower numbers when asked "About how often during the last year have you and your partner had sex relations?
Subsequently, scholars have regarded it as a popular myth. Pepper Schwartz is credited as coining the term lesbian bed death. The questionnaire covered various aspects of their relationship such as work, sex, children, finances, and decision-making. Initially 12, volunteer couples, including lesbian couples, filled out questionnaires. Of these, couples in Seattle , San Francisco , and New York were selected for a more in-depth interview. Among the results, Blumstein and Schwartz concluded that lesbian couples in committed relationships have less sex than any other type of couple heterosexual married, heterosexual co-habitating or gay male and that they generally experience less sexual intimacy the longer the relationship lasts.
This was based on responses to the question "About how often during the last year have you and your partner had sex relations?
They also reported that lesbians seemed to be more limited in the range of their sexual techniques than did other couples, and that lesbian couples are less sexual as couples and as individuals than anyone else.
In her New York Times review of American Couple , Carol Tavris suggested potential bias in the Blumstein and Schwartz survey results, as most of the respondents were typically white, affluent, liberal, and well-educated. Frye questioned the methodology of the survey format, feeling that the survey question is too ambiguous when applied to the sexual behavior of lesbian couples. She indicated that the survey's comparison is not accurate because the focus on sexual activity back then was on whether or not a penis was inserted and if "sex relations" is interpreted too narrowly, this ambiguity could account for the finding of a statistically low frequency of sexual behavior among lesbian couples.
What 85 percent of long-term, married couples do more than once a month takes on average 8 minutes to do What we lesbians do that, on average, we do considerably less frequently, takes, on the average, considerably more than 8 minutes to do. Maybe about 30 minutes at least. Lesbian couples are expected to seek sex less frequently than heterosexual or gay male couples.
With regard to women's overall sexual behavior and sexual satisfaction, Masters and Johnson 's study on lesbian sexual practices concluded that lesbian sexual behaviors more often have qualities associated with sexual satisfaction than their heterosexual counterparts, focusing on more full-body sexual contact rather than genital-focused contact, less preoccupation or anxiety about achieving orgasm , more sexual assertiveness and communication about sexual needs, longer lasting sexual encounters and greater satisfaction with the overall quality of one's sexual life.
Researchers Cohen and Byers stated that the majority of the lesbian bed research is old by more than 20 years and that its survey question "how often do you have sex? Both heterosexual and female same-sex couples had a decrease in frequency of genital contact, while non-genital contact had not decreased. The women in same-sex relationships also reported being sexually satisfied.
Suzanne Iasenza described the lesbian bed death concept as a "notorious drop-off in sexual activity about two years into long-term lesbian relationships". Following the Blumstein and Schwartz survey, many s books and articles by lesbian practitioners were written about lesbian sexuality, by well-known clinicians such as Marny Hall, JoAnn Loulan and Marge Nichols, dealing with inhibited sexual desire, lack of sexual initiation and low sexual self-esteem in regards to lesbian sexuality.
The 'urge to merge' was already stronger in women than in men, so two women in a relationship would result in an overly close connection, one so familiar that sex would come to resemble incest, thus inhibiting its expression. Numerous writers have called lesbian bed death a myth, including Nikki Dowling of TheFrisky.
She surmised that lesbian bed death, "is probably only sticking around" due to lesbophobia. Newman stated, "Lesbian Bed Death is the greatest disservice we ever did to our community. If you're straight or you're gay, long term relationships can be challenging when it comes to sex. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
Homosexuality Bisexuality pansexuality polysexuality Asexuality gray asexuality Demographics Biology Environment. Social attitudes. Prejudice , violence. Academic fields and discourse. Queer studies Lesbian feminism Queer theory Transfeminism Lavender linguistics. Journal of Lesbian Studies. The Textbook of Clinical Sexual Medicine.
Retrieved July 4, The Wiley Handbook of Sex Therapy. The Village Voice. Retrieved February 20, The Sydney Morning Herald. Retrieved July 21, Lesbian Love and Relationships. University of Wisconsin Press. New York Times. Retrieved July 3, Greenberg, Clint E. Bruess, Sarah C. Conklin Exploring the dimensions of human sexuality. Retrieved Research on the sex practices of lesbians and the clinical applications. Sexual and Relationship Therapy. BBC News. August 14, Dunn; Elizabeth Yost Hammer Cengage Learning.
Retrieved January 5, The Journal of Sex Research. Archived from the original PDF on Comparing Duration vs. Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality. Journal of Sex Education and Therapy. The Frisky. Archived from the original on February 23, The Daily Dot.
Academic fields and discourse Queer studies Lesbian feminism Queer theory Transfeminism Lavender linguistics. LGBT portal. Boston marriage Cohabitation Domestic partnership Human sexuality.
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Lesbian sex - First time tips
Your first time having lesbian sex , or girl-on-girl slash vulva-on-vulva sex, can be pretty nerve racking and daunting. No matter how confident you are, or how much lesbian porn you've watched which FYI, is not realistic AT ALL all vaginas are different and like to stimulated in different ways. So if you're in need of some tips on how to have sex with a girl or vulva-having person, here's what you need to know - from how to beat the nerves, to which lesbian sex positions to try.
I know you're thinking,"How on earth will I know what to do? If you've had male or penis-having sexual partners before, that may help inform a fair bit of what you do, but it still might feel strange to be giving what you have previously received. The good news is that although tips and tricks are handy, sex is still largely intuitive whatever genders or bodies it's between.
You might find you surprise yourself Your virgin voyage to the Sapphic Isles needn't come without a personalised map — or, you know, a super-hot Sat Nav with the voice of Marilyn Monroe, if you're lucky. You don't have to arrange a pre-coital business meeting with pointing sticks and blow-up dolls, but once you've brushed up on some basic lesbian sex tips , simply talking dirty prior to the act is a great way to establish what you both do, and don't want to try with each other.
During the act? Never be afraid to say you've changed your mind about something — and always listen carefully to what they say, too. Trusting your instincts, and each other, is a crucial part of enjoyable sex.
There's no better way to get some practice in than masturbation. If you're a regular wanker, great. If not, perhaps now is the time to learn how to masturbate like a pro, to give you some pointers.
Don't freak out if it doesn't work for you — solo sex isn't for everyone. Another good way to learn more about vulvas, vaginas and clitorises, is by putting a mirror between your legs and having a good ol' look. People's vulvas vary in appearance so don't be shocked if your partner's doesn't look much like yours at all but delve a little deeper and you'll find the important bits are generally in a similar area. I will never forget the first time I had a pair of boobs that weren't my own to play with.
My mind went totally blank and I sort of flapped my hands excitedly at them. It wasn't my best sexual performance, to say the least. Some people don't like having their breasts touched at all. If that's you or your partner, that's cool. But if breast and nipple play is on the agenda then, as a general guide, start gentle — some people's boobs are more sensitive than others.
Cup them delicately, trace them lightly with your fingers, kiss them softly Try not to grab. If all is going well, then try licking their nipples, using circular movements interspersed with sucking not too hard. Clitoral stimulation is how most women and people with vaginas achieve orgasm, but everybody's body is different: some people enjoy very fast friction directly to the clitoris, for instance, while others enjoy slow rubbing on the outer lips.
Don't be put off if you have to go through a bit of trial and error with a new partner. For more in depth advice, here's how to finger a girl or vagina-owner really well. Ready to go in? Start with one finger and build up — shoving four in at once, unless specifically asked to, is bad form. You also need to make sure you keep an eye on what your other digits are doing — thumbs digging into thighs spoil the mood. Build speed up slowly. G-spot stimulation sends some people wild, others are indifferent, and still others actively dislike the sensation of having it touched.
It's easier for some than it is for others to find it, so persevere. Wiggle your finger s on it and see what happens If you'd rather use a G-spot vibrator to stimulate them and clitoris at the same time if you're feeling really generous ,.
This seems to be the bit that scares first time vulva-lovers the most. It's also the hardest aspect of girl-on-girl and vulva-on-vulva sex to give clear, one-size-fits-all advice on — sorry! Again, starting slowly is a good plan. Gently part their outer labia and lick up from the vaginal entrance to the clitoris this has the added benefit of giving you chance to find the clit if you are having trouble — some people wear 'em buried deep!
Lick up and down the labia themselves. Focus on the clit and licking around it, using your wonderful friend Ms Circular Motion. Vary the pressure. Inserting a finger if they're OK with that!
Trial and error, trial and error. Here's a step by step guide on how to lick someone out , if you want to know more. Remember it is still possible to catch STIs from same-sex sex. Vulva-to-vulva sex can transfer bacterial vaginosis , oral herpes , HPV and, more rarely, trichomoniasis and hepatitis.
For safer oral sex, little squares of latex called dental dams can be placed over your genitals. Handy hint: a slit open condom works just as well. For responsible fingering, grab yourself some latex gloves. You can get some awesome flavoured dental dams which taste great while keeping you protected, these strawberry dental dams are great. Other kit? Well that's for discussion between the two of you. Personally I'd advise keeping this for later — things will be nerve wracking enough as it is if you've never slept with a woman or same-sex partner before.
As ever, remember that some people don't like being penetrated — never assume anything. Once you're comfortable and feel like you want to try different positions, there are many vulva-to-vulva positions to go through.
Including the rather infamous scissoring , if that's your bag. Watch the below video for a run down of some awesome girl-on-girl sex positions. As you are no doubt aware, women and vagina-havers generally take longer than those with penises to orgasm, and some find it hard to manage at all.
So don't despair if you've already come and they're still nowhere near the finish line, or vice versa. I can never emphasise enough that an orgasm is not the be all and end all of a satisfying sexual experience — and of course the less you stress, the more likely it is you'll manage it in the future. Got the hang of all that and want to try something more adventurous? Try these next-level oral sex positions.
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